LİSTAG, GALADER, İzmir Lgbti+ aile Grubu ve Denizli Lgbti Aileleri aktivistlerine çocuklarının cinsel yönelim veya cinsiyet kimliklerini öğrendiklerinde verdikleri reaksiyonları ve onca deneyimden sonra bugünden o zamanki hallerine nasıl baktıklarını sorduk. Lgbti+ kimliklere sahip insanların aile içinde huzur, saygı, anlayış, destek ve güven duyabildikleri bir ortam yaşamalarına katkı sunmak, ebeveynlerin farklı tepkiselliklerine empatiyi arttırmak için bu videoyu hazırladık.
Belgesel Sinemacılar Birliği’nin ‘1001 Belgesel’ gösterimleri
kapsamında #BenimÇocuğum film ekibi ve LİSTAG ebeveynlerinin katılımıyla gerçekleşen söyleşiyi kaçırmadınız:
Belgesel Sinemacılar Birliği’nin ‘1001 Belgesel’ gösterimleri Onur Haftası’nda Can Candan’ın yönettiği #BenimÇocuğum (2013) ile devam ediyor. Film ekibi ve LİSTAG ebeveynlerinin katılımıyla gerçekleştirilecek söyleşi 27 Haziran 21:00’de @belgeselsinema
YouTube kanalında.
Kaynak: T24 (Damla Uğantaş)
Türkiye’de her yıl Haziran ayında düzenlenen LGBTİ+ Onur Haftası ve haftanın sonunda gerçekleşen Onur Yürüyüşü, 2015 yılından bu yana valilik tarafından yasaklanıyor, polis müdahalesine sahne oluyor. Bu yıl Onur Yürüyüşü, İstanbul Büyükşehir Belediye Başkanlığı seçimlerinin yenilenmesinin hemen ardından 30 Haziran tarihinde gerçekleştirilmek istendi ancak seçim atmosferinin de etkisiyle, Onur Yürüyüşü’nü ve cinsel yönelimleri hedef alan söylemler, İçişleri Bakanı Süleyman Soylu’dan, Diyanet İşleri Başkanı Ali Erbaş’a uzanan silsilede, üst düzey isimlerden ve tonu giderek sertleşen üslup ile dile getirildi.
Yine bu yıl önceki yıllardan farklı olarak pek çok belediye, Twitter hesaplarından LGBTİ+ Onur Yürüyüşü’ne destek verirken, bir başka grup belediye ise Onur Yürüyüşü’ne karşı #AilemizHerŞeyimiz etiketiyle mesajlar paylaştı. Tartışmalar 2011 yılında imzaya açılan İstanbul Sözleşmesi’nin yürürlükten kaldırılması talebinin dile getirilmesine dek uzandı. Peki LGBTİ+ çocuğu olan aileler bu tartışmalar karşısında neler hissediyor, ne düşünüyorlar?
Konuya ilişkin sorularımızı yöneltmek üzere LGBTİ+ çocuğu olan ailelerin bir araya geldiği LİSTAG Derneği’nde LİSTAG’tan Züleyha, Neşe, Günseli ve Ankara Gökkuşağı Aile Grubu’ndan Atilla ile buluştuk. Çocuklarının cinsel yönelimleri konusunda kendilerine ne zaman açıldığından, her sene kortej halinde katıldıkları Onur Yürüyüşleri’nin kendileri için ne anlam ifade ettiğine, siyasi ve dini temsilcilerin açıklamaları karşısında ne hissettiklerinden, aile kavramına yönelttiğimiz soruları kişisel deneyimlerini paylaşarak yanıtladılar.
“Çocuklarımızın sesini duyun”
“Çocuklarımızın her zaman yanındayız. Çocuklarımız yanış bir şey yapmadı. Barışçıl bir eylem için burdayız. Çocuklarımızın sesini duyun.”
KAYNAK: LGBTINEWSTURKEY.COM
“Our Children, A Guide for Families and Relatives” (Çocuklarımız, Aile ve Yakınlar için bir Rehber) is a booklet designed for LGBTI+ parents and relatives. The booklet is published by LISTAG (Families and Relatives of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Individuals) in collaboration with LGBTI+ family groups from different cities around Turkey serves as an invaluable resource for parents and relatives of LGBTI+ children and youth. In the preface it reads that the purpose of the booklet is to share knowledge gained by the common experiences of families of gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans individuals, and provide families with less or little experience with information and help raise their awarenesse. Included in the preface is an important note on the fact that the feelings and thoughts many LGBTI+ families initially experience when their children come out to them are similar and that knowing they are not alone is in itself comforting.
What makes this resource booklet a powerful read is that it also includes extracts from the book, “Stories Under the Rainbow” (Gökkuşagından Hikayeler), a compilation of real life stories from the families of LGBTI+ individuals. These accounts, distributed throughout the booklet, are the voices of parents of LGBTI+ children and youth relaying their own struggles, challenges, and experiences. Perhaps these narratives effectively echo similar sentiments to the parents reading “Our Children”, reassuring them that their experience is not unique to them.
The booklet provides definitions for core LGBTI+ terminology such as for gender identity and sexual orientation; information and suggestions for parents on ways to cope with their own feelings; information about the coming out process as LGB and how best to support LGBTI+ individuals and the coming out process of trans children and youth, and what the transition process in Turkey entails. It also contains information about LISTAG and the work it does to support families and raise awareness about LGBTI+ discrimination and rights.
Stressing the importance of carving space and time for reflection to process feelings and thoughts, the booklet notes that many parents may neglect the fact that they too need support, and encourages parents to also tend to their own feelings while supporting their child.
One main suggestion the booklet provides to parents is to operate from a place of love despite wherever they may be in their own acceptance process and that a great way to find solidarity is to get in touch with LGBTI+ family groups. In the afterword, a parent encourages other parents to confront their own fears together with their children and to be open to learning about other lives without judgement and adds, “Let’s try to really understand and let’s not leave our children alone on this challenging journey.”
For a parent whose child may have recently come out to them as LGBTI+ and who may lack knowledge on the topic, finding access to information and guidance on LGBTI+ topics in Turkish might be a challenging endeavor. Providing parents with a good starting point, this is an impactful resource that will serve this gap and help many families better understand and support their LGBTI+ child. It is not difficult to imagine the positive impact “Our Children” will have on many families. With its clear explanations, suggestions and the narratives from experienced parents, “Our Children” makes a great gift to all parents of LGBTI+ children and youth.
Review by Lukka Alp Akarçay for LGBTI News Turkey
KAYNAK: LGBTINEWSTURKEY.COM
Stories Under the Rainbow (Gökkuşagından Hikayeler) is a book about love and family. This powerful collection of twenty-nine stories is a candid celebration of families connecting and reconnecting with, understanding and supporting their LGBTI+ child. Each story, told by a parent, reveals the many aspects in which the cultural upbringing and societal pressures of heteronormativity create unexamined and limiting belief systems that configure the world of parents for most of their lives. These long-standing belief systems, however, unexpectedly fall to pieces when their child comes out to them as LGBTI+. In these narratives, we read how many of the parents experience similar feelings that impart sadness, worry, incomprehension and indignation in reaction to a reality that at first challenges them. The challenges bring changes that alter their modes of living in positive ways. They come to realize, as they are forced to reexamine their convictions, that what they held to be true can be challenged to show other possibilities or acknowledge what is fundamentally flawed. When families find new ways to reconnect with one another, they begin to explore what it means to fully embrace, support and love their child for who they are. We read how beautifully their worlds expand in their reflections on their fears and struggles to dismantle learned homophobia and transphobia.
These narratives are also a meditation on how much our worlds and thinking are shaped by society. Many parents recount similar sentiments on how little they knew about other lives, how it was impossible for them to imagine the lives of LGBTI+ people or the fact that they even existed due to their own lack of knowledge, fear or merely holding onto misconceptions based on what they had heard from others. A parent puts it, “In this society, there are actually a lot of people who hide and suppress who they are and who do not express themselves for fear of judgement because this society is not a tolerant one.”
At first focused on denial and worry, the narratives evolve to celebrate love and life. “This process allowed me to understand and get to know all the other marginalized groups in society and learn more about the experiences of disabled people, Roma, Aleviis, Kurds and women” reflects one parent on how much their world view has expanded and adds, “I see now that the biggest hurdle in front of us is the world’s biggest terror organization. This organization, is not an armed terror organization. It is everyone.”
As someone who has come out to their parents as a trans man, it was hard to withhold tears reading about some of the coming out dialogues between the families and how time, love, and support restored many broken pieces and uprooted the barriers to understanding one another. Equally moving was the parents’ profoundly transformative journey from one of loss, confusion, and blame to one of joy, strength, and empowerment. Fully supporting their LGBTI+ child, they stand up to their neighbors, to school counselors, teachers, or their own friends, demonstrating how by becoming their child’s best ally, they are paving the way for other families to do the same.
This is a very intimate book that reminds us how much we need to hear the stories of people that are othered and marginalized in order to fight against discrimination and harmful narrow constraints of existing and living in this world. These stories inspire and ignite a powerful celebration of life in all its spectrum of colors.
Review by Lukka Alp Akarçay for LGBTI News Turkey
Trans kadın Çağla ve annesi Züleyha, yan yana duran ve birbirinden güç alan nadir anne-kızlardan… Bu sene 10. yılını kutlayan LİSTAG (Lezbiyen, Gey, Biseksüel, Trans, İnterseks Aileleri ve Yakınları Grubu) üyesi anne-kız, yaşadıklarını DW Türkçe ile paylaştı…
Çocukları LGBTİ+ (Lezbiyen, Gey, Biseksüel, Trans ve İnterseks) olan bir grup anne babanın, 2008 yılında kurduğu LGBTİ+ Aileleri ve Yakınları GrubuLİSTAG, 10 Aralık Dünya İnsan Hakları Günü’nde, İstanbul Hollanda Başkonsolosluğu’nda, 10’uncu yılını kutladı. Türkiye’nin farklı illerindeki LGBTİ+ ailelerinin gerçek yaşam öykülerinden derlenen “Gökkuşağından Hikayeler” kitabından bölümlerin okunduğu okuma tiyatrosu büyük ilgi gördü.
Ayta Sözeri, Ayça Damgacı, Haydar Köyel, Melis Öz ve Seyhan Arman gibi sanatçıların desteğiyle düzenlenen okuma tiyatrosu geniş bir katılımcı kitlesi tarafından beğeniyle izlendi.
“BİR HİKAYE BİR İNSANI, BİR İNSAN HEPİMİZİ DEĞİŞTİRİR”
10’uncu yıl etkinliğinin açılış konuşmasını kitabın derleyicilerinden Yasemin Zeynep Başaran yaptı. Etkileyici, güçlü ve samimi hikayelerin yer aldığı kitabın sadece LGBTİ+ ailelerine değil toplumun her kesimine ulaşmasını arzuladıklarını söyleyen Başaran, “Gökkuşağından Hikayeler, çocuklarını gerçekten sevmenin onları anlamaktan geçtiğini bilen, anlamak için gereken uzun ve yorucu yolu kat edebilme cesaretine sahip, başta kendi önyargıları olmak üzere karşılaştıkları birçok zorluğu geride bırakmaya çalışırken öğrenmeyi sürdüren ebeveynlerin yolculuğunu gözler önüne seriyor” dedi.
Etkinlikte “Bir hikaye bir insanı, bir insan hepimizi değiştirir” çağrısı yapan LİSTAG’lı aileler, herkesi LGBTİ+ ailelerinin dönüştürücü güce sahip hikayelerini okuma tiyatroları düzenleyerek paylaşmaya davet ediyor.
LİSTAG LGBTİ+ Aileleri ve Yakınları Grubu, Ankara Gökkuşağı Aile Grubu, Denizli LGBTİ+ Aileleri Grubu ve İzmir LGBTİ+ Bireyleri Aile Grubu’ndan yaklaşık 30 anne ve babanın gerçek yaşam öykülerinin yer aldığı kitabın önsözünü, “Hikaye Anlatıcığı” eğitimlerini gerçekleştiren Bahçeşehir Üniversitesi Öğretim Görevlisi Şeyda Taluk kaleme aldı. Taluk önsözde şu cümlelerle duygularını aktardı: “Çocukları, torunları, kardeşleri için tüm bir toplumu karşılarına almaktan çekinmeyen harika insanları tanıma şansına eriştim. Sanki bir film sahnesinden kopup gelmiş̧ gibiydiler; beni yaşamımın sonuna kadar yetecek sevgiye boğdular.”
KİTABIN KÜNYESİ
Derleme / Düzenleme
Yasemin Zeynep Başaran, Hülya Sungu
Grafik Tasarım
Barış Zerey
Hikaye Kayıtları
Yusuf Bahar, Ali Çakır, Kenan Özcan, Murat Yıldırım, Şebnem Vitrinel
Baskı ve Cilt
Punto Baskı Çözümleri
Birinci Baskı
Ekim 2018
Hollanda Dışişleri Bakanlığı’nın İnsan Hakları Programı tarafından desteklenen, “Empowerment of Parents of LGBTIs in Turkey with Human Rights & Story Telling Trainings and Group Therapies” isimli proje kapsamında düzenlenen “Hikaye Anlatıcılığı” eğitimleri kapsamında derlenen hikayelerden oluşmaktadır.
Copyright ©
Katadrom Kültür Sanat ve Sosyal Politikalar Derneği
LİSTAG Lezbiyen, Gey, Biseksüel, Trans, İnterseks Bireylerin Aileleri ve Yakınları Grubu
Gökkuşağından Hikayeler” kitabına <info@listag.org> adresine e-mail yollayarak ulaşmak mümkün.
16.sını düzenlemekte olduğumuz Onur Yürüyüşü bu sene üçüncü kez İstanbul Valiliği tarafından yasaklandı.
Bizler, Taksim’deydik, sınırları aşmak konusunda kararlıydık, biz hiçbir yere gitmedik. 26. Onur haftamız hepimize kutlu ve mutlu olsun.
Bir hikaye bir insani, bir insan hepimizi değiştirir.
Onur Haftası boyunca her gün bir hikaye.
Dear Members of the Groups/Organisations of Parents of LGBTQIs in Europe,
We plan to unite organisations and individual activists who affiliate/associate themselves as parents of LGBTQIs in Europe, namely “Proud parents who can say YES! I have an LGBTQI child or are on the way!”
On behalf of the network I encourage you and your organization to accept our invitation and look forward to your response.
Please kindly find attached a chronological account of how this came about and our milestones.
You may contact me at your convenience if you need any further details to help you communicate this invitation to your colleagues.
Best Regards,
H.Metehan Ozkan (LISTAG)
On behalf of ENP Constituent Board
You can find below the links to join our network:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/465706283581898/edit/
Google Groups:
european-network-of-parents-of-lgbti@googlegroups.com
We would very much appreciate if would follow us on Facebook and be part of our google mailing group at this stage.
European Network of Parents of LGBTQI People (ENP)
In April 2015 in Kiev (Ukraine), we have adopted a resolution to help the establishment of a European Parents Network during the first international conference for parents of LGBTQIs – Our Families: Ways of Understanding, Acceptance and Support – and handed it over to the programme director of ILGA-EUROPE
In June 2015 in Warsaw (Poland), we have presented our ideas on the European Network of Parents at the international conference “Parents of LGBTQI Persons – Constant Dropping Wears Away a Stone”
Between 28 and 31 October 2015, the 19th Annual Conference of ILGA-Europe (the European Region of the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association) took place in Athens, Greece, under the theme “Many Voices, One Movement – Together, mobilized for a just society”.
The objective of the annual conference in Athens was to bring together activists, policy makers, representatives of institutions and other allies in order to discuss current developments across the continent, to learn and share experiences and knowledge, to strategize and to plan joint work.
Since the parents of LGBTQIs are recognised as the strongest allies in the field of advocating for human rights and equality for LGBTQI people, for this conference in Athens ILGA also invited representatives from organisations formed by the parents of LGBTQIs, working in various countries.
During the conference it was decided that the Parents of LGBTQIs should form an independent European Network to strengthen the local efforts of the various groups working at a national or regional level. During the ILGA conference, the participants deliberated many questions, including:
When we talk of mobilisation, how can we make sure that our work truly benefits from and promotes the rich diversity of our communities? If we truly want to instigate successful change, we need to make sure that all people are included and all our needs are addressed.
What are the best ways to engage with our new allies in this context? What are our commonalities?
In May 2016, following up from the conference in Athens representatives from the organisations of Parents of LGBTQI People were invited by ILGA to meet at the HQ in Brussels.The meeting gathered representatives from 9 different organisations throughout Europe, to exchange experiences of the work and to identify the initial establishment of a European Network of Parents of LGBTQI organisations and initiatives.
During this meeting a number of decisions were taken including:
(1) Defining our Vision Statement created from contributions from the participants.
The vision of the European Network of Parents of LGBTQI people is a world of equal opportunities, where sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions are secured, respected and affirmed.
Defining our Mission:
We are the European Network of Parents of LGBTQI people – ENP. Our mission is to unite the national organisations and initiatives of Parents of LGBTQI people at the European level; to be a voice for LGBTQI people’s dignity and equality and to empower initiative groups and organisations of parents of LGBTQI to become a voice for equality for LGBTQI people
(2) Established the first core group to work together to officially set up the network.
(3) Share the outcomes from this meeting with other parents organisations as part of the invitation to develop the Network
In October 2016 a small group of us were invited to attend the ILGA Europe annual conference in Cyprus. Naturally we took the opportunity to promote the ENP and were encouraged to keep up the effort by the positive response from the various representatives attending the conference.
In November 2016 the core team has been invited to participate in a parents conference organized by Parents’ initiative TERGO and will take the opportunity to work on the preparations for the launch meeting in Malta scheduled for the 22nd of February 2017.
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